


Falling apart (right in front of you)

by broken_fannibal



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bruises, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Good Boyfriend Alec Lightwood, Hurt Magnus Bane, Implied/Referenced Torture, Light Angst, M/M, Magnus Bane Needs A Hug, Morning Cuddles, Protective Alec Lightwood, ahh what are tags help
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-06-27 22:06:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15694281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/broken_fannibal/pseuds/broken_fannibal
Summary: Magnus` voice was rough.Alec knew it couldn't be from disuse, not this much when he had only been missing for half a day. His throat tightened. It meant Magnus had been screaming. They had tortured him.Title taken from Numb by Linkin Park.





	Falling apart (right in front of you)

They found Magnus unconscious in a corner of the basement.  
Alec rushed towards him. Magnus was alive, he roughly checked him over for injuries. Underhill helped him get Magnus to his feet.  
It was then that Magnus came to. He tensed at first. But when he opened his eyes and saw the familiar faces, he relaxed, realising he was in good hands.  
“Are you okay?” Alec asked.  
Magnus slowly nodded. “Hav-” he coughed, cleared his throat. “Have been better.” His voice was rough.  
Alec knew it couldn't be from disuse, not this much when he had only been missing for half a day. His throat tightened. It meant Magnus had been screaming. They had tortured him. Alec clenched his jaw and closed his eyes for a second.  
They heard the fizzling sound of a portal opening.  
Clary stood next to it and looked at Alec. “You can take him home. We´ll go back to the Institute.”  
Alec nodded and helped Magnus walk towards the portal. When they stood in Magnus` loft he was surprised to see Izzy beside him. He frowned at her.  
“I didn't want to leave you alone. Not with him in that condition.” she smiled softly.  
Magnus was about to protest when he was shaken by another series of coughs.  
Izzy hurried to the kitchen to get a glass of water while Alec carefully led Magnus to a couch. He crouched down in front of him, caressed his cheek.  
Magnus relaxed a little, but the pain was clear on his face.  
Izzy arrived with the glass of water, she carefully cradled the back of Magnus´ head and held the glass to his lips. He drank eagerly.  
“We should call Catharina.” she turned towards Alec.  
He nodded.  
“I´ll call her. You check him over for injuries.”  
“Yeah, okay.” Alec got up, grateful for the instruction because his brain was currently a huge mess shouting over and over that Magnus was injured and that everything was terrible.  
He began by unbuttoning Magnus´ waistcoat, carefully slid it off and started taking off Magnus shirt. He winced when he parted it. Huge bruises were beginning to appear on his skin. Magnus had been kicked and beaten. Repeatedly.  
Alec closed his eyes again, his hands clenched in the fabric of Magnus shirt. He felt a gentle touch on his hand, opened his eyes to see it was Magnus´. He looked up at him with half-closed eyes from where his head leaned against the sofa's backrest.  
They looked at each other for a while.  
Izzy gave a shocked gasp when she saw the bruises.  
Both Alec and Izzy had had their fair share of bruises but this- this was worse than anything they'd ever had.  
Izzy rested her hand on Alec's shoulder, caressing it.  
He sighed and took a deep breath before gently pulling off Magnus shirt the rest of the way. He leaned in a planted a soft kiss on his boyfriend's forehead.  
Magnus hummed in content.  
Alec took off Magnus´ necklace and rings. Two fingers were swollen, but they didn´t look broken.  
Izzy went back to the kitchen to get ice. When she came back, she wrapped a towel around the bag and carefully placed it on Magnus´ hand.  
Not even a minute later Cat arrived.  
Alec hurried to make room for her.  
She said nothing, only cast Magnus a worried glance and got to work.  
Magnus groaned in pain and arched his back as her hands hovered over his ribcage.  
When she leaned back, she informed them: “He had a couple of fractured ribs.”  
Alec reached for one of Magnus´ hands and caressed his knuckles.  
Lastly, Cat cast a spell against the pain.  
Magnus gave her a weary smile when she was done. "Thank you, dear."  
She smiled back at him. "Take care. Call me if you need help or anything at all."  
He nodded. His eyes fell almost all the way shut.  
Alec watched Magnus for a while. Behind him, Izzy asked Cat if she could open a portal to the Institute for her. And then they were both gone. It was very quiet.  
Magnus gave a soft sigh. He opened his eyes halfway and rolled his head to the side to look at Alec.  
They looked at each other for a while.  
Alec tried to figure out what to do, what to say. He didn't know. He raised the hand he was still holding to his lips and placed a gentle kiss on the knuckles.  
Magnus smiled affectionately. He licked his lips and cleared his throat. "I want to sleep." After a short pause, he asked: "Can you stay with me? Hold me?"  
Alec's eyes widened a fraction. "Uh- yeah. Yes." He nodded and stood to help Magnus get up.  
They slowly made their way to the bedroom. When Magnus lay on the bed Alec took off Magnus' pants. He tossed them onto the floor. He undressed as well, then slipped under the covers.  
Magnus was still lying on his back. he hadn't moved.  
"Are you comfortable?" Alec asked.  
A heavy sigh. "I don't... have the energy to move."  
"Oh," Alec breathed. He shuffled closer to Magnus. "How should I...?"  
Magnus opened his eyes and glanced over at Alec. He was quiet for a moment. "Just... hold me. Please."  
Alec nodded. He reached out and turned Magnus onto his side with his back to him. Then he wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him close. He rested one hand on Magnus' chest. This close he could feel his boyfriend's slow heartbeat. It calmed him.  
Magnus covered the hand on his chest with one of his own.  
  
When Magnus woke up the next morning, he felt a little better. The bruises on his back and stomach hurt again. Pain pulsed in his temples, it crept up his scalp like blunt claws digging into his skull and tearing at his skin. But he lay curled up against Alec's side, surrounded by his warmth, his scent. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes again. He slid one of his hands up to Alec's ribs, felt them expanding under his fingers.  
He couldn't tell how much time had passed when Alec began to stir. His hands twitched where they held Magnus. His breathing got quicker. Then he blinked and his eyes found Magnus. A soft smile played over his features.  
He turned onto his side and pulled Magnus even closer.  
Magnus made a startled sound. There was new pressure on the bruises on his side and stomach but he quickly got used to the pain.  
  
They spent most of the morning cuddling. Neither of them wanted to get out of the bed.  
When they managed to get up, they decided to take a shower together.  
Alec noticed that Magnus was very touchy. He always stayed close to him as they went into the bathroom.  
When they got into the shower Magnus washed himself. Alec waited and watched his boyfriend. Magnus usually looked beautiful with the water running down his body as it did now. He always looked graceful, without effort it seemed. But now Alec felt a cold sharp pain in his chest at the bruises on Magnus' back and belly. They were of a deep warm purple, some already turning blue. He was sure Cat had helped along with the healing process. But with the colour and size, they looked like they hurt a lot. He wanted to make it better. But he didn´t have the power to do that. No magic. Nothing.  
Now Magnus stood with his head tilted up to the shower head and just let the water wash over him.  
He jumped a little when he felt a light touch on his shoulder. His head whipped around- just to see it was Alec. He had been so quiet Magnus had forgotten he was even there. "Sorry." he smiled carefully.  
Alec frowned. "Why are apologising?" He felt his stomach drop.  
"I forgot you were here. I tensed when you touched me. I'm a bit jumpy I guess..." One of Magnus´ shoulders drew up and he turned his head away.  
Alec took a shaking breath. "Magnus?"  
He waited until his boyfriend looked up at him.  
"It's okay. After what happened. It's okay." he assured and stared at Magnus with that intense honesty in his eyes.  
Magnus nodded. He reached for Alec's hands and settled them on his waist. His eyes drifted shut for a moment. Then he stepped to the side to make room for Alec and let go of his hands.  
Alec watched him, frowning. He wondered what that had been about just now. He didn't know.  
Like so many things with Magnus, he had no clue. So he stepped under the spray and washed himself. All the while he saw Magnus watching him. It was only when he was done that Alec dared looking back at him. He didn't know what to do. Magnus wanted something, but what... Alec didn't know. He waited a while longer. Thought that maybe Magnus would say something eventually. But he didn't.  
He licked his lips before speaking. "Is there anything I can do?"  
Magnus sighed, arms remaining by his sides. He blinked slowly. "I... feel cold. From inside." He shook his head, realising how little sense what he had said made. He stared at his feet, then turned around and open the door.  
Alec sucked in a small breath. He knew it was now or never. He grabbed Magnus wrist and turned him back around. "What can I do?" There was more force in his voice now.  
Magnus blankly stared at his shoulder.  
"Magnus, I want to help you." He hesitated, then: "But I don't know how. "  
Magnus nodded. "I... don't know either." his voice was quiet, toneless. "I've been feeling worse over the last week and what happened yesterday... it just- it made everything worse." He sighed deeply. "I can't describe how I feel, I doubt you would understand, anyway." He shook his head, looked endlessly sad. Then his lower lip quivered and tears filled his eyes. His shoulders started shaking.  
Alec suddenly felt ice cold despite the warm water running down his back. A cold fist closed around his heart, crushing it. He found it hard to breathe. On instinct, he reached out to Magnus, cupping his face in his hands. He wiped some of the tears away. Then he wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's shoulders and pulled him into a hug.  
Magnus stayed limp, the only movement was the shaking of his shoulders as sobs rocked through him. Alec caressed Magnus' back with one hand, cupped the back of his head with another.  
Magnus sobs got louder, his breath was more hiccup than anything else.  
After many minutes his crying died down.  
Alec leaned back a little to be able to see Magnus face. His eyes were red, his cheeks patchy. Alec stepped back and wiped the tears away. He leaned down to plant a kiss between Magnus' eyebrows.  
Magnus closed his eyes and sighed.  
Alec turned them around so Magnus was under the spray again to warm him up.  
He shivered and tilted his head back. When he looked at Alec again, he gave a small smile. He reached for Alec's hands and entwined their fingers.  
"A little better?" Alec asked tentatively.  
Magnus nodded, then he yawned.  
Alec opened the door and stepped outside to get their towels. After they had dried themselves off and gotten dressed, they walked to the kitchen.  
Alec gestured for Magnus to sit on a couch and wait, he took two cups from the cupboard. Warm milk with honey for Magnus and a can of chamomile tea for them both. He poured himself some tea and gave the milk to Magnus.  
He drank without even asking what it was. But there was an expression of happy surprise on his face when he tasted it. He gave an appreciative hum and smiled. Then he took another sip.  
Alec sat down next to him and smiled back.  
After a few minutes, Magnus asked: "Could you make me another cup?"  
Alec grinned. "Sure."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please consider leaving kudos and comments! <3


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